Category Archives: Funny

Irish drinking bet

A wealthy Texan oil tycoon made his way to Ireland one day, as he walked into an Irish pub there he made a declaration to all them that were in the room. He pulled out a wad of five-thousand dollars in cash and placed it on the bar. He said,

I hear you Irish can drink, so I put to you the challenge that not one of y’all can drink five hundred shots back to back. If you pull it off I’ll give you this here five thousand dollars.

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Amza Pellea a fost cel mai tare comic român!

Amza Pellea, cel puțin pentru mine, a fost cel mai mare comic român. Nu mulți sunt aceia care pot spune că nu le place umorul olteanului nostru. Schetc-urile acestuia sunt la modă și acum, după mai bine de 30-40 de ani de la apariție. Însă nu a fost un zeu. Spre deosebire de ce arăta la televizor, Amza a fost un om normal, iar în ulmii ani măcinat de grijile vieții. Însă comediile sale vor rămâne tinere pentru veșnicie.
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Lanterna magică îi dă lui Spadasinov dureri de cap!

Prima parte

Spadasin era pentru prima dată în cumpănă. Să hrănească duhul, sau să-l dea afară pe ușă?
– Să arunc naibii lanterna aia. M-am legat la cap fără să mă doară!

Ca să fie sigur că nu visează, se ciupi de mână. Auzise el de chestia asta undeva, că dacă visezi și te ciupești de mână, atunci sigur, nu visezi. Ori ceva de genul ăsta, cine naiba știa ce e adevărat și ce nu.
– Bine mă, duhule, spuse Spadasin. Dacă cer pizza acu, se duce naibii o dorință de-a mea, nu?
– Dacă vrei să-ți aduc eu, da. Deși, cal mai bine fă comandă pe net. Și-așa sunt obosit, numai chef să fac pizza acum n-am.
– Bine mă și deci tu îmi poți îndeplini 3 dorințe, exact ca-n povești și-n bancurile cu peștișorul de aur?
– Trei dorințe… Zi-mi bancul cu peștele de aur vere, n-am mai râs de pe vremea împușcatului!
– De ce?
– Păi tu n-ai văzut mă că parcă a dat streachea în popor? Al dracu’ dacă știe vreunu’ de umor sau glume…
– Bine, bancul…

Și-n timp ce Spadasinov își trăsese un scaun să stea la masă, picioarele cam tremurându-i, ce-i drept, duhul scosese din figider un copan de pui, uitat acolo de vreo 3 zile, un borcan cu dulceață (uite bă, bun băiat Spadasinov ăsta, are dulceață de gutui, parcă știa că vin la masă) o o bucată de brânză topită și o ceapă și se apucă să mănânce, hrana dispărând în fumul din care era… construit!
– Se duce Bulă pe baltă… începu Spadasin.
– Hăhă… Bulă. Bun așa. Zi!
– Și cum stătea el așa, dintr-o dată începu să tragă la undiță. Mulină omul repede și ce să vezi?
– Prinsese peștele de aur!
– Exact. Și Peștișorul, fără să stea pe gânduri, îi zise înciudat “așa bă, eu sunt peștișorul de aur, trebuie să-ți îndeplinesc trei dorințe. Zi-mi repede ce vrei, vilă cu piscină, Lamborghini, munte de bani și-o blondă cu țâțe mari… că unul nu sunteți în stare să cereți o carte sau bilete la teatru!
– Hă hă hă! Râse duhul scuipând ceapă și salam în toată bucătăria. Auzi la el, bilete de teatru!

Spadasin se ridicase de pe scaun.
– Stăi vere, unde fugi?
– Să comand pizzaa! Tot ai vorbit atât de ea și mi s-a făcut foame,
mârâi Spadasin.
– Lasă, fac eu cinste. Cele trei dorințe al tele rămân în picioare! râse duhul.
genie-lamp

Începu să râgâie de se cutremură casa, se dete cam anevoie de trei ori peste cap, iar pe masa din bucătărie apărură două pizze cât roata carului, aburinde, cu mult cașcaval și salam picant, exact cum îi plăceau lui Spadasinov.
– Băi duhule! Vină să te pup! Asta e pizza mea preferată.
– Știu bre, crezi că aduceam vreo prostie precongelată din vitrina de la Mega Image? Ce dracu mă, oameni suntem!

– Și ia zi duhule, care e povestea ta? Cum de în lanterna asta minune de la elanterna.ro zace un duh ca tine?
– Eh… zâmbi amar duhul. Povestea mea începe demult, în 1990. De atunci tot sunt duh, stau în lămpi, lanterne și brichete Zippo.
– Păi de ce? Ce-ai pățit?
– Păi a început totul la Mineriadă…

Va urma…

Texas boy was suspended after threatened classmate with a magic ring!

News from United states, Texas:

A fourth grader named Aiden Steward was suspended Friday, after school officials determined he had threatened to use his magic ring to make another boy disappear.

HOBBIT

Here are the particulars, from The Odessa American:

His father, Jason Steward, said the family had been to see “The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies” last weekend. His son brought a ring to his class at Kermit Elementary School and told another boy his magic ring could make the boy disappear.

Steward said the principal said threats to another child’s safety would not be tolerated – whether magical or not. Principal Roxanne Greer declined to comment on the matter.

“All student stuff is confidential,” Greer said. She referred a call from the Odessa American to Kermit ISD Superintendent Bill Boyd, who did not return a phone call.

The New York Daily News followed up with the SA fourth grader named Aiden Steward was suspended Friday, after school officials determined he had threatened to use his magic ring to make another boy disappear.tewards.

“I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” the boy’s father told NYDN. “If he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.

Source

About Hannover – first part

My friend, Rudolf, was glad to answer my call. It was the only one, and he make an article about Hannover. The text is a mammoth, so i will split it into 3 parts. So, here is the first one!
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I am not sure if many people know that the names of Hanover Square and Hanover Street, for a time globally famous in the latter part of the 20th century with the assistance of equally famous Han Solo, were also earlier regionally famous with the help of the 1st Earl of Scarbrough, lord Richard Lumley, a gentleman originally from northern England, once, early in his career, Master of the Horse for lady Catherine de Braganza, herself a gentlewoman of potuguese origin for a while Queen of England, Scotland and Ireland, who taught the British how to enjoy their cup of tea. Lord Lumley was one of the group known as the Immortal Seven Englishmen who invited in 1689 in writing William Henry, Prince of Orange, born in The Netherlands, at the time lieutenant governor of the Dutch provinces of Holland, Zeeland, Utrecht, Gelderland, and Overijssel, to overthrow King James II of England in a Glorious Revolution and become King William III of England.

sq

I think they admired his obvious administrative bureaucratic skills, in which the Protestants had been known at the time to excel, sometimes even to the detriment of their scholarly more intellectual or more spiritual exploits, (with some obvious notable exceptions). But he was also the son-in-law of James II, so it wasn’t such a big deal, anyway not more than a habitual family squabble over who would be ruler of the Free World, and in fact they even paved the way for the USA to become ruler of this Free World, since they encouraged the colonists to revolt against some tea import taxes established by James II, obviously not thinking that the colonists would actually wish to become totally independent. After William Henry, Prince of Orange, graciously accepted this offer he probably felt he could not refuse, Lord Lumley decided to dedicate some of his time to real estate development in London, and, being a strong supporter of the Hanoverian Succession, in which the son of Sophie of Palatinate, (herself daughter of Elizabeth Stuart, Queen of Bohemia), and of Ernest Augustus of Brunswick-Luneburg, (ruler of the Principality of Calenberg, Prince Elector of Hanover, ancestor of Diana, Princess of Wales), would become George I, King of the United Kingdom and Ireland, he decided to develop a fashionable residential address in London, an address which has remained quite fashionable today, although it is dedicated more to office space, e.g. for the London office of Vogue, rather than to personal residences, and to name it Hanover Square.

Meanwhile, on the continent, the region of Hanover described a rather swampy territory later known as Lower Saxony, a territory generally known to have been earlier and traditionally inhabited by some people known as Saxons because they seem to have favored for hundreds of years a type of knife with a straight blade called seax, a rather crude and not very aesthetic tool, (the most talented and creative Saxon designers having most likely chosen to continually emigrate both westward and eastward to be nearer the more inspired celts of the UK and Ireland, or nearer the descendents of the dacians of Transylvania and Moldavia, where they most certainly would have found better opportunities for apprenticeship with traditional master toolmakers for learning to make more varied and better designed types of tools, as fit for an European medieval civilization, the seaxes being found useful over time only greatly modified and assembled in the guise of scissors, first in Finland and Estonia by master tailors, later in Italy by master hairdressers…

Second part

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